When I first started this blog a year ago I mentioned briefly in my very first Thankful Thursday how I came to be a SAHM.
I’ve been inspired by this week’s Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop to elaborate on just how I wound up changing career paths.
Flashback to just 2 weeks shy of 5 years ago today. The doctor’s office had called with the results of the blood work I had had them run, hoping that all the home pregnancy tests were wrong, that there was some chance… Miracle of miracles, the blood test had been positive – we were going to be parents!
My husband came home from work and I let him know the big news. After all the hugging and what not he asked me if I planned on continuing to work once the baby was born.
I answered with an emphatic, “Yes!” I mean, I loved teaching, watching the kids “get it,” creating lesson plans… And what would I do all day just sitting at home, anyway?
Nine months flew by. I had a whole new bunch of students. I planned meticulously for my maternity leave, leaving notes about various lessons I loved teaching each year.
And then the time came for me to return to work. And I didn’t want to. We did a practice run, dropping my little girl off at my MIL’s early in the morning like we’d be doing when I returned to work. I cried the entire 3 hours we left her there before heading back to check and see how she was doing. Of course, she had slept most of that time.
Every Monday broke my heart, just thinking of another week of leaving her while I went to work. As the school year slowly crawled to an end, I debated what to do. I knew that health issues would mean my MIL would not be able to care for my little girl as she became more mobile. I knew that I couldn’t imagine another year of waking up, dropping her off somewhere, and going to work.
Writing it now, I don’t know what the great debate was for… Except that I felt like since I had originally said I wanted to keep teaching I wondered what my husband would say. All the tears and sleepless nights wondering how to tell him how I felt were unnecessary. He actually looked happy when I told him I wanted to stay home. Like I said in my earlier post, he couldn’t have been more supportive.
And as for my love of teaching – well, I’m still teaching, every day. I’m not limited by the confines of a classroom; the class size is a lot smaller now, and there isn’t a pay check, but watching them “get it,” planning activities and outings… I don’t know why I ever worried I’d get bored as a SAHM, every day is different, and they sure keep me on my toes! And, for me, it’s the best career decision I ever made.
And something I am eternally grateful to be able to do.
What are you thankful for this week?
morgan says
So glad that you are able to be where you want to be! It’s the best, toughest job on earth!
Visiting from Mama Kat’s 🙂
admin says
Oh, it is DEFINITELY the hardest job I’ve ever had! LOL. And I love it.
Thaihoa says
I couldn’t leave my little girl. I just couldn’t. I would never want another job other than being a SAHM. 2 years ago I was all about my career but she changed me and our life!
admin says
Oh, I agree! I never imagined how much my little girl could change my life… But when I went back to work, I just thought about her all day and couldn’t stand it – never thought I’d be a SAHM, now I couldn’t imagine anything else.
Jen says
I haven’t been reading your blog that long…… But it makes sense to me that there was a teacher hiding in the Mommy I read about every week – several times a week.
I too was a stay at home mother, I agree as you wrote so eloquently; there is nothing more rewarding or fulfilling!
admin says
Thank you for being one of my wonderful regular readers! 🙂 I guess I couldn’t hide that teacher in me – it’s been there since I was little, really.
Kimberly Cosby says
I wish I could write this same post 🙁 I envy you. Teaching is no longer my love… my little girl is. But the economy these days doesn’t allow for a single family income where I live. One day. I am thankful for my precious little girl and the hours that I am able to spend with her each evening.
admin says
It is definitely NOT easy doing it on one income. We don’t have a lot of the things most people have (and I don’t miss them). Cable, satellite, high speed internet, new phones, going out to the movies… I can live without all that. And, I admit, I’ve sold things on Craigslist to make a little money to do the extra things I do outside the home with the kids; take old toys to sell and use the money then to buy “new” used toys…
I love your blog – I can tell how much you enjoy spending time with your little girl. Hope your one day comes soon. And your summer break is very long. 🙂
Rach says
I love this post! Our plan right now is that I will stay home when we have kids, but I do wonder what people will think about that decision. So it really is encouraging to me when I read about other people who have chosen to stay home! 🙂
admin says
You are right, many people think they have the right to express what they think a mother should do when they have kids. So many think that if a woman chooses to stay home it is “old fashioned”. But I don’t see it that way. I really think it is an individual decision that a family makes based on what is best for THAT family.
Gem says
I found myself in a similar situation, but ultimately my decision to become a SAHM was the best decision for my situation as well.
I wouldn’t change a thing!
SUPAHMAMA says
You’re a very lucky Mama to have such a supportive husband! Mine doesn’t “get it” when it comes to why I have such a need to stay home with my kids. Nobody will ever love my children the way I do, or put them as high a priority than I will. Makes no sense to me why I would even think it, although I think we all have our days where we think about what life would be like had we chosen that different path.
admin says
I am very lucky, indeed. And I was thankful especially that I became a SAHM when we found out just a month or two later we were expecting child 2.
Jacklynn says
Like you I’m so thankful for being able to be a SAHM. It makes things really tight around here but I worked for the first few months after my daughter was born and it was so hard for me to leave her. I hated the thought that other people would be getting to see her do things for the first time and I wouldn’t.
So I guess I am thankful for not missing the little moments that I might otherwise miss.
admin says
Yes, I was lucky to see my little girl roll over for the first time and even her first steps. It’s not easy on one income, but getting to see all those firsts is so worth skipping all the extras – no cable, sattelite, high speed internet, going to the movies… all worth it a million times over.
Kate @ zMOMbie says
I also made the decision to stay home. I was a middle school math teacher and some days I miss those quirky kiddos…but I am thrilled to be lucky enough to stay home with my little one. It’s definitely it’s own kind of teaching. Thank you so much for sharing and best of luck with everything!
admin says
Love meeting other middle school teachers. Normally when people find out I taught middle school they just don’t get how much fun that age group can be.
Off to check out your latest post!
Kate @ zMOMbie says
Love your blog. Just tagged you in latest post.
admin says
Just hopped over to your post – thank you! 🙂 I will have to work on the answers tonight when the little ones go to sleep.