My dearest daughter,
How is it possible that you will be turning 5 in a week?
You hear it over and over when you are pregnant, “Just wait and see, the time is going to fly by.” You nod your head and you think, you THINK, you know what they mean, but you don’t. Not really. It isn’t until you are a parent that you fully understand what they mean.
I swear one day you were swaddled in my arms, and the next you were climbing the television stand. I blinked and you were writing your name and turning awkward cartwheels in the living room.
I want to hold on to you, tighter, keep time from moving. But I know that is impossible.
I love you.
I have not said that nearly enough. Have not hugged you all the times that I should have.
I’m scared by how fast you are growing up. Part of me fears that it is my fault in some way that you are so independent. That you’ve become that way because I’ve not met some need.
And part of me is proud. Proud to see you hug your little brother when he’s sad, hear you tell him the same words I’ve said to you.
You have no idea how much you have changed my world. How much you have taught me.
I hope all your wishes come true, my little Peanut.
Mommy loves you.