Forgiveness

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Sometimes it is amazing what children can teach you.

It was a mere 4 minutes after my oldest head-butted her little brother.  And I mean she head-butted him HARD.  Yet, when she came over to apologize after her time-out, he couldn’t wait to hand her the Potato Head he had put together just for her.  No hard-feelings.  As if it had never happened.

Children live in the now.  They forgive and move on.

Why does that become so hard once we become adults?

We let things get under our skin and they eat away at us.  Holding grudges, hanging on to how we have been wronged in the past, it takes so much energy out of us.  It keeps us from enjoying new blessings.

Honestly, I have been thinking of the importance of forgiveness for a while now.

Sure, I can forgive the little things easily enough, someone forgetting to call, a favorite trinket being broken.  It’s those big, I’ll say life-changing, events that I have been struggling with.  But lately I have realized just what I’ve been missing out on by holding on to the past.  I’m not who I want to be, and it’s time to forgive and move on.

And honestly, I’m a little afraid.  I’m talking years that I’ve held on to the hurt.  Where do I even start?

And perhaps the hardest part?  Forgiving myself as well.

 

Comments

  1. Oh that’s a biggie. It is so hard sometimes to let grudges go. I do believe that holding onto past hurts harms us more than the person we’re angry at. Do it for yourself if nothing else, and you’ll probably find that you feel better.

  2. “And honestly, I’m a little afraid. I’m talking years that I’ve held on to the hurt. Where do I even start?”…… that’s what I would like to know…… it’s hard to forgive others and sometimes even harder to forgive ourselves.
    loved this post

  3. I hope you find some peace with all of this. Forgiveness is so much harder as an adult. We know the pain too well. We get upset with ourselves for allowing that person to let us down or hurt us. Sometimes you just need to forgive even while walking away. It will do your heart well.

    • That’s it – I need to forgive myself for allowing it to go on for as long as it has and letting certain people have such control over my life.

  4. I think what makes it hard as adults to “forgive” is that while me may forgive, we never forget. And that makes the hurt feelings come back again and again. I think children “forget” as the day goes on. I know around this house, a brother might tear down another brothers Lego building, and there’s a few words and tears, and then they are playing together the next minute….if I mention the incident that night while tucking them into bed, the “wronged” brother will look confused and then say, “Oh yea… he DID destroy my Lego building today! I forgot he did that.”

    But adults? We don’t forget. And that makes the forgiving all the more harder. That’s my theory, anyway 😉

  5. Yes, I truly do think it is kids ability to forgive and let go like this is the reason we are told in the Bible to be like a little child. It really is amazing.
    And as someone who has needed to be forgiven and has had to forgive some incredibly difficult things- it is so hard but it is also so freeing. Good luck.

  6. Great topic!

    As I was reading I realized as adults we expect other adults to act like they know better. So when they act like children or do something unexpected or wrong, we tend to step back and not want to forgive or move on. We are thinking “They should know better.”

    ~Allie

  7. Lovely piece. The more I watch children, the more I remember that adult is the root of adulterated…meaning all fouled up. Lately, I’ve been ruminating on the words of Marianne Williamson….”love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn.”
    Hmmm….
    Peace and good.

  9. Oh my good post! I wonder the same thing sometimes. Why do we let things fester & build into a mountain instead of letting it go and forgive? I’m trying to figure that out as well.

    Thanks for the analogy of your kids forgiving. We all need to be more like your son!

    Have a great day! Can’t wait to see what your next post is on blogfrog.

    Pamela
    Still Dating My Spouse
    http://www.stilldatingmyspouse.com

    • It may remain one of life’s great mysteries… but I am definitely trying to work on forgiving in a more timely manner. So much better for all relationships.

  10. Forgiving yourself is definitely where you start. When we forgive ourselves, it’s much easier to forgive others. When we’re hard on others, we tend to be that much harder on ourselves.

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