Kids Are Cruel

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Kids are cruel.

Of course I’ve known this for a while, but lately I’ve been noticing that the cruelty starts even earlier than I feared.

We were at Chick-Fil-A, and like always, I was the only parent in the little play area.  (Why is that?)  There were 2 other kids in the play area; my daughter couldn’t wait to get playing.

But, as I said, kids are cruel.

I heard comments about her outfit of choice (she had on her favorite leopard print leotard, the kind with legs, not the kind that looks like a swimsuit).  Then I heard, “Hurry, she’s coming!”  A game of keep away from the “strange kid” started – my little girl being the target.

She came down the slide, bawling, and I hugged her tight and told her to just ignore the other kids and go have fun with her brother.  “Okay, Mommy,” she said, heading back up.

It happened again, the game and the crying.  This times she whispered, “Mommy, I don’t think they like me.”  (My heart broke at her words.  How much I want to protect her.)

Then the loud roaring started.  Getting as close to her face as he can, the little boy was roaring like a lion at my daughter.  She started to cry immediately, rushing to get back down to me.

As I held her close again, I sneaked a peak at the other mom.  She was oblivious, on the phone on the other side of the glass.  Three times my daughter came down, crying.  Certainly she would come see what was going on if she saw, right?

“Please don’t roar in her face anymore,” I asked the other child.  Then, in a loud enough voice for the other kids to hear I said to my daughter, “They’re going to stop or I will go speak to their mom.”

Bless her heart, she headed back up with her brother at her side.

A few minutes later I noticed the tunnel was blocked, and I was pretty sure I knew where my little girl was, so I kicked off my shoes and heaed on up.  Seeing me, the other 2 decided to head down the slide, and I went to find my own 2 who were trapped in the pretend helicopter.  We played together for a bit – I wanted to leave a positive feel with them both.  Then I decided it was time for us to go.

It’s times like this that I wish I could protect my babies forever.

But they can’t live in a bubble.  At some point they need to learn how to deal with people who aren’t nice.  They need to learn that not everyone is going to like you.  I just wish they didn’t have to learn it so early.  And I wish I had the magic words to make the pain go away when it happens.

Comments

  1. I know I am always like, do I step in. I like the speaking in the loud voice so the other mom can hear, ‘hey might want to step in here’.

    I always use these as opportunities to remind my kids how important it is to include everyone because being exclusionary hurts your heart.

    • Yes, it does leave you wondering what to do. This time I used the loud voice to get a point across to the kids, since the mom was on the other side of a glass wall. I was really hoping they’d get the point so I wouldn’t have to go discuss it with her.

      I think I talked with my kids about it too much – my daughter was rolling her eyes when I was done. 🙂

  2. Hi, just stopping by from Shell’s blog. You handled the other kids a lot better than I would have. It’s sad to me how young it starts, with kids being mean to each other. I really enjoyed looking over your blog. I also taught middle school before I made the decision to stay at home when I had my baby this year. It was a tough choice. It’s nice to find other former fellow teachers who made the choice to stay at home. I also love to write and enjoyed looking over your blog! 🙂

    • Thanks for stopping by!
      I love meeting other former teachers turned SAHM! 🙂 It was a tough choice, but I am loving every minute (well, most of the minutes…)
      Can’t wait to check out your blog, too!

  3. Thanks for stopping by my blog to comment! I had a very similar experience and blog post actually earlier this year at Chick-Fil-A! Those play structures where you can’t properly get to the kids and they are “enclosed” so some parents think they can catch a break rather than monitoring their children are conducive to some nasty, mean behaviors. I’m so sorry your little one experienced such hurtful words. It is so hard to watch them experience meanness from others and to know exactly what to do on the spot when other people’s children are involved and the parents aren’t engaged or aware. Give your little one an extra hug tonight and get one for yourself!

    • Yes, I think that’s it. Parents see there’s just one way out of the play area and they decide they don’t need to be in there and can relax outside and just watch the door to make sure their little one doesn’t leave. But they have no idea then what their kid is doing, or what someone else’s kid could be doing to their child.

      I love Chick-Fil-A, but I’m not so fond of the play areas b/c that seems to be a trend.

  4. I feel your pain. I remember the first time I took my middle son by himself to McDonalds alone. He was missing his brother and the 2 kids there wanted to play keep away from the strange child. The annoying kids would call him over and then run away. I finally told them that their behavior was mean and their mother would be ashamed of them. They at least stopped teasing him, but what was going to be a fun day out with my turtle was tarnished. (Mom was outside the playarea not paying attention, see a pattern?)

    • Yep, I see a pattern. I vow to NEVER be one of those parents who sits outside the play area and has no idea what is really going on.

  5. Of all the challenges of motherhood, this one is the hardest for me. It sucks when they’re 5 and it sucks even more when they’re 11. Because they’ve honed their bully skills by then. Luckily my kid deals with it a lot better than I do.

    • I agree. I don’t know why it always seems I’m the only parent sitting in the play area at Chick-Fil-A… Yes, it can get noisy, but I’d rather know what my kids are really doing and what’s going on in the play area.

  9. This always bothered me. These kids were being cruel, but probably to get even for lack of attention. I never left my son unattended or expected others to watch him. And some parents think it’s great that their kids act like this.

    • Oh, I know! I watch parents sometimes and am appalled by how many laugh at what their kids do or say to another kid! It burns me up!

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