Mom-Guilt

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It was one of those days.

The kind where you feel like you’ve yelled at the kids more than not.

 

I was  in the oldest one’s room, picking up toys, calling for her to come help.  When I found them in the living room I was
met with the boxes I wanted to use for a craft, completely flattened, and pieces of styrofoam everywhere.  (Where did they even find styrofoam, anyway?)

Instead of crafting, I found myself admonishing them for destroying the boxes and making a mess with the styrofoam.

They started playing fairies and Hot Wheels together, and then suddenly they were coming to blows with one another.kids fighting And when they weren’t fighting, it seemed they were jumping on the couch or finding something else to destroy. 

Then my husband woke up (he was working nights this week), and asked how our day had been.  I guess the look on my face said it all.  He decided it was a night to go get dinner.

 

It was just one of those days.

And the mom-guilt was high.

I don’t like feeling like I’ve spent the day yelling at my babies.  I don’t like feeling like a failure, like I should have found some way to entertain them that would have eliminated all the fighting.  But that’s how I felt.

And then my husband, who deserved a home-cooked meal, woke at 5:15 to nothing on the stove.

 

Guilt.

Enough to bring tears to my eyes and make me just want to curl up and forget the day ever happened.

 

It’s days like that, that I have to remind myself we are all human.  We all have our limits.  And tomorrow is a new day.

 

What about dinner?

Back to that guilt.  I wanted to end our day better, so we loaded the kids in the car, and we picked up dinner to take to the park.

 

What gives you the most mom-guilt?  How do you deal with it?

 

Comments

  1. Sigh. Today was a mom-guilt-laden day for me. I had no patience and yelled a lot. I think I’ll just sit down and play with the boys when they wake up from their nap. Sometimes that’s all it takes to reconnect and feel like an okay mom again. Thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone!

  3. Being a mom is HARD. There is only so much of us to go around ,and we all have our breaking points. I try to let go of the guilt because it weighs me down. I try to learn from the mistake and move on.
    But even with moving on, I still yell at times, or say things that I don’t mean. We are all learning, and thank goodness we all have each other.

  4. I think we share the same sort of mom-guilt! I hate feeling like I’m just yelling all day long, but sometimes it feels as if no one listens unless I’m screaming. I wonder what would happen if I just started whispering everything. Hahah. We gotta come up with something new, but know that you’re not alone!

    • I’ve heard that they will listen better if you whisper. Actually, it was kind of part of my New Year’s Resolution not to yell so much…. And I”m doing better…. But there are days! Today was another one of them….

  5. I feel the most guilty when I go and run for an hour. I know…I know…It is just for an hour, but It just makes me feel bad that I leave the kids to do something for myself. I make myself do it though…It is important!
    Smiles :O)

    • Oh, that time alone is soooo important! I need to do that more often. It just never works into my schedule — sad when you have to schedule time alone!

  6. Thank you. 🙂
    Yes, I feel guilty when I don’t feel like I’ve played enough with them, too. I get caught up in doing housework and forget why I chose to stay home.

  7. For some reason some of the comments on your post for this day didn’t show up on my screen yesterday.
    As for the yelling…We have 9 kids and I feel that I have to yell for them to hear me cause it gets so loud some times. I was raised in a ‘Yelling’ home and I for sure didn’t enjoy it. And now I am the yeller. We all don’t like the yelling. But really, I don’t think they listen if I don’t yell. My kids are all yellers now. We have tried really hard to not yell as much. My Husband and I have worked really hard to change our voice tones when talking to the kids. It is a hard habit to change. I know a mom who is very quiet, in fact she is my sister in law. My brother is a yeller, he is a coach so it kinda just happens. But because of her sweet calm tone, her children are all sweet and have a calm tone. We are a huge example to our children. I agree with nap time being our regrouping hour. This is why I run…I try to get that little breather in. Some times just running to the post office by myself just for 5 minutes is enough. I do feel guilty though when I do things by myself. Our children range from the age of a newly 17yr old to a 2yr old. And Ilene is right..We are for sure learning! We can only do the best that we can do. Hang in there moms! Sorry for the long post.

    • Wow, yeah, I’d say with 9 kids it would be hard not to find yourself yelling sometimes. With just 2 it can get pretty loud around here. LOL.
      I love what you said about your sister-in-law. I know a few moms like that, or at least they are very calm when I’ve seen them dealing with their kids. I need to just hang out with them for a few days and try to learn the secrets of how to stay calm…
      And, don’t worry about the long post, I love it when readers have a lot to say! 🙂

  9. To this day, it’s still impatience when I’m deep in some project and my son just feels like talking. Sigh That’s always been my mom-guilt

    • Ugh. I know how that feels. My daughter starts chatting first thing in the morning, and I just don’t have the energy to keep up with it all day.

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