You found me in his dorm room. It was obvious something was wrong. You walked me back to my dorm room, and after you found out what happened, you left.
You left me when I needed you the most.
You, the person who claimed to love me.
Not only that, but a few days later you convinced me that if we didn’t “do it” soon, I would never want to do it again. It was like being assaulted all over again.
There was no tenderness. There was no comforting words.
I realize now how selfish that was on your part.
A day later I saw you with him, eating dinner.
Nauseous does not come close to how I felt at that point, at the site of the two of you laughing together.
When I thought I was as hurt as I could be, you drove the knife deeper.
I could linger on the hurt, the pain. In fact, I have.
But it has been years, and it is time to let go of the pain, the anger. I need to find peace with the past so I can move on and enjoy all the good that has come into my life since then.
And to do that, I need to forgive.
Forgive not only you, and somehow your “friend” – who I mistakenly trusted, but myself as well.
I have struggled with how to do that, and I have asked the Lord for help. I feel he has brought me to writing about it here, maybe to help someone else find forgiveness…
Somehow, between the day that I first started writing this, struggling with such a task before me, and today, I somehow feel like a small weight has been lifted. I hold no hatred for you.
Forgiveness can set us free.
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