Sarcastic Thank You’s

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Toddlers and preschoolers just don’t get sarcasm.

It’s a shame, because, really, I can be pretty sarcastic.

That’s why I couldn’t resist using this prompt from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop as a jump start to this week’s Thankful Thursday post…  Who do you have to thank? Following Jimmy Fallon’s famous thank you note writing style, write or vlog a list of 10 thank you cards you’d like to write this week.

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Thank you, whoever decided there should be 2 different 1812 addresses on the same road in Peoria… You made finding our hotel much more interesting as we drove back and forth 4 times before stopping and calling the hotel and finding we needed 1812 on the north side of the street and we were at 1812 on the south side.

Thank you, public library, for changing your website so now I have to click on 3 different links, each opening a new page, before I can even get to my account to renew a book.  Being able to waste that extra little bit of time in the attempt to not have late fees?  Priceless.

Thank you, ex-boss, for the comforting words, “Just because you worked here before, doesn’t mean we will hire you back…” when I spoke to you about trying to decide whether to keep working or to become a SAHM.  (By the way, just because I worked there before, doesn’t mean I’ll want to work there again.)

Thank you, McDonald’s, for giving super huge sized cups of sweet tea and pop instead of just the normal sized cups — doctors everywhere will be seeing more cases of obesity and diabetes.  Those apples in the kids’ meals?  Totally make up for it.

Thank you to my creative children for smearing lip gloss all over all the toys in the living room.  How did you know that Mommy was just looking for something else to clean?

Thank you, Fluffybutt, for the constant licking and snorting you do at night.  It’s like having my own “heavy breathing phone call” to wake me up right there in my room.  All. Night. Long.

Thank you, political parties, for calling my house at least twice a day.  The excitement I feel when the phone rings, thinking someone I know has called to chat, is almost worth the disappointment I have when I realize it is just another electronic message.

Thank you dearest members of my family who feel compelled to wear not just one outfit during the day, but who need to change clothes several times.  The extra laundry insures that I’ll be doing another round of wash much sooner than I would otherwise, and you all know how much I LOVE laundry!

 

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Yes, the prompt asks for 10 and I only wrote 8… That’s because I want to hear what you’ve got!  Leave a comment with your own sarcastic twist to a thank you card.  Or link up your own in the linky!  (Be sure to link back to There’s Just One Mommy, please!)




Linked up at Black Tag Diaries, Kate Says Stuff, Lovely Little Whimsy, First Day of My Life

Comments

    • So glad they might grow out of it! My daughter has gone through 4 different dresses in one day! She just comes out and I have to think, “was she wearing that before???” My son HATES to be wet or dirty, so he changes when anything spills, even if it is just a spot. And then there is the hubby…..

  3. I am thankful for this wonderfully entertaining blog that doesn’t let you get bogged down in the the busy things that are so easy to get us down. Thanks!!

    • Don’t they, though? I love when I want to order just apples with the Happy Meals b/c my son doesn’t eat fries and they look at me like I just grew a third arms out of my head.

  7. I love telling the political phone callers that I am of the opposite party – So rude all those calls! And usually right during supper time. We need a party of kindness and common sense. Have a great day!

    • Yes, it was a fun prompt!
      I totally loved your vlog! I tried to comment, but I am obviously on a sucky browser that Disqus said wasn’t supported. I might need to write one more thank you note – to my browser for allowing me to read/hear great posts and then not allowing me to comment.

  9. Thank you for linking up to Thankful Thursday with me at First Day of My Life! 🙂 ox

    I always love your lists…they make me smile so much!

  10. Who has car cup holders big enough to hold those gigantic fastfood drinks? Never get why I see giganto cups being handed through drive-thru windows…do people just straddle them between their legs?
    *clickin* in from MamaKat

  11. Ohhhh One Mommy – I feel for you! Some weeks it’s like you can’t win…but next week will be better!

  14. I don’t have any sarcastic thank you cards coming to mind today…but yours are HILARIOUS!! I darn near spit my red bull out a couple of times lol!!

  16. I’m right there with you on the changing clothes 27 times a day! My daughter will put on an outfit, decide that it’s too cold outside for it, and then put it in her hamper when she changes! You wore that outfit for 30 seconds, kid! Hang the clothes back up!

    • Today she went through 4 outfits, I think. Right before dinner she changed into a white shirt and skirt outfit — just in time to get spaghetti sauce on it.

  17. Two 1812 addresses? Is the street really so long that there’s not enough number combinations to give everything its own address?
    Your ex boss sounds like a… *insert mean word here*

    • Seriously! I have never heard of a street having 2 identical numbers, but they did… The whole street was strange b/c it started going down in numbers and then all of a sudden went back up.

    • Seriously, they are! I much prefer the 1-800 numbers with real people because I get a better response when I answer something silly, like, “Joe’s Pizza!”

  21. Thank you Facebook for only showing my posts to 20% of my followers and offering to charge me to show it to the other 80%.

    How was that?

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