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Sarcastic Thank You’s

September 6, 2012 by OneMommy

Toddlers and preschoolers just don’t get sarcasm.

It’s a shame, because, really, I can be pretty sarcastic.

That’s why I couldn’t resist using this prompt from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop as a jump start to this week’s Thankful Thursday post…  Who do you have to thank? Following Jimmy Fallon’s famous thank you note writing style, write or vlog a list of 10 thank you cards you’d like to write this week.

 ***

Thank you, whoever decided there should be 2 different 1812 addresses on the same road in Peoria… You made finding our hotel much more interesting as we drove back and forth 4 times before stopping and calling the hotel and finding we needed 1812 on the north side of the street and we were at 1812 on the south side.

Thank you, public library, for changing your website so now I have to click on 3 different links, each opening a new page, before I can even get to my account to renew a book.  Being able to waste that extra little bit of time in the attempt to not have late fees?  Priceless.

Thank you, ex-boss, for the comforting words, “Just because you worked here before, doesn’t mean we will hire you back…” when I spoke to you about trying to decide whether to keep working or to become a SAHM.  (By the way, just because I worked there before, doesn’t mean I’ll want to work there again.)

Thank you, McDonald’s, for giving super huge sized cups of sweet tea and pop instead of just the normal sized cups — doctors everywhere will be seeing more cases of obesity and diabetes.  Those apples in the kids’ meals?  Totally make up for it.

Thank you to my creative children for smearing lip gloss all over all the toys in the living room.  How did you know that Mommy was just looking for something else to clean?

Thank you, Fluffybutt, for the constant licking and snorting you do at night.  It’s like having my own “heavy breathing phone call” to wake me up right there in my room.  All. Night. Long.

Thank you, political parties, for calling my house at least twice a day.  The excitement I feel when the phone rings, thinking someone I know has called to chat, is almost worth the disappointment I have when I realize it is just another electronic message.

Thank you dearest members of my family who feel compelled to wear not just one outfit during the day, but who need to change clothes several times.  The extra laundry insures that I’ll be doing another round of wash much sooner than I would otherwise, and you all know how much I LOVE laundry!

 

***

Yes, the prompt asks for 10 and I only wrote 8… That’s because I want to hear what you’ve got!  Leave a comment with your own sarcastic twist to a thank you card.  Or link up your own in the linky!  (Be sure to link back to There’s Just One Mommy, please!)




Linked up at Black Tag Diaries, Kate Says Stuff, Lovely Little Whimsy, First Day of My Life

Filed Under: Thankful Thursdays, Writing Tagged With: family, humor, kids, thankful

Comments

  1. KAREN says

    September 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Oh I am laughing so hard, thanks babe. Love snarky comments and thank yous.

  2. Diane@BeStillaMinute says

    September 6, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Oh, the changing clothes several times a day! My youngest used to do that every day. Drove me nuts. He grew out of it, finally, so there is hope for you yet!

    • OneMommy says

      September 8, 2012 at 11:35 am

      So glad they might grow out of it! My daughter has gone through 4 different dresses in one day! She just comes out and I have to think, “was she wearing that before???” My son HATES to be wet or dirty, so he changes when anything spills, even if it is just a spot. And then there is the hubby…..

  3. Meryl says

    September 6, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    I am thankful for this wonderfully entertaining blog that doesn’t let you get bogged down in the the busy things that are so easy to get us down. Thanks!!

  4. Rach says

    September 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Haha! This is great! The apples totally make up for the giant sized drinks/food. 😉

    • OneMommy says

      September 8, 2012 at 11:33 am

      Don’t they, though? I love when I want to order just apples with the Happy Meals b/c my son doesn’t eat fries and they look at me like I just grew a third arms out of my head.

  5. Heather says

    September 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    I love this!! Ok I really need to join in next week!!

    Is it always on Thursdays? 🙂

    • OneMommy says

      September 8, 2012 at 11:32 am

      Yes, I do thankful posts every Thursday, although they aren’t always sarcastic like this one! 🙂

  6. jen says

    September 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    Love your list it just cracked me up!
    And fluffybutt apparently has some friends living in my house ;0

  7. Kathleen says

    September 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

    I love telling the political phone callers that I am of the opposite party – So rude all those calls! And usually right during supper time. We need a party of kindness and common sense. Have a great day!

  8. hilljean says

    September 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    This prompt was so fun, huh? I totally linked up! I’m so glad other kids get into their mommy’s lipgloss. Nice to know I’m not alone.

    • OneMommy says

      September 8, 2012 at 11:31 am

      Yes, it was a fun prompt!
      I totally loved your vlog! I tried to comment, but I am obviously on a sucky browser that Disqus said wasn’t supported. I might need to write one more thank you note – to my browser for allowing me to read/hear great posts and then not allowing me to comment.

  9. Cami says

    September 6, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Thank you for linking up to Thankful Thursday with me at First Day of My Life! 🙂 ox

    I always love your lists…they make me smile so much!

  10. NatteringNic says

    September 7, 2012 at 6:53 am

    Who has car cup holders big enough to hold those gigantic fastfood drinks? Never get why I see giganto cups being handed through drive-thru windows…do people just straddle them between their legs?
    *clickin* in from MamaKat

  11. Cortney - The Mommyhood Project says

    September 7, 2012 at 10:32 am

    Ohhhh One Mommy – I feel for you! Some weeks it’s like you can’t win…but next week will be better!

  12. Michelle says

    September 7, 2012 at 11:00 am

    LOVE it OneMommy! You made me laugh on a Thursday morning 🙂

  13. Kaye says

    September 7, 2012 at 11:51 am

    I thought this prompt was the biggest challenge this week. nicely done. kaye—the road goes ever ever on

  14. Christina says

    September 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    I don’t have any sarcastic thank you cards coming to mind today…but yours are HILARIOUS!! I darn near spit my red bull out a couple of times lol!!

    • OneMommy says

      September 8, 2012 at 2:19 pm

      I think that may be the highest compliment I’ve gotten lately — glad to make someone laugh!

  15. Nicole says

    September 8, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Heehee! I totally get that laundry thing. Happy Saturday Sharefest.

    • OneMommy says

      September 8, 2012 at 2:21 pm

      Pumpkin cookies sounds like a post I need to read! Thanks for stopping by!

  16. The Lovely One says

    September 8, 2012 at 11:08 am

    I’m right there with you on the changing clothes 27 times a day! My daughter will put on an outfit, decide that it’s too cold outside for it, and then put it in her hamper when she changes! You wore that outfit for 30 seconds, kid! Hang the clothes back up!

    • OneMommy says

      September 13, 2012 at 7:26 pm

      Today she went through 4 outfits, I think. Right before dinner she changed into a white shirt and skirt outfit — just in time to get spaghetti sauce on it.

  17. Nessa says

    September 8, 2012 at 11:35 am

    Two 1812 addresses? Is the street really so long that there’s not enough number combinations to give everything its own address?
    Your ex boss sounds like a… *insert mean word here*

    • OneMommy says

      September 13, 2012 at 7:28 pm

      Seriously! I have never heard of a street having 2 identical numbers, but they did… The whole street was strange b/c it started going down in numbers and then all of a sudden went back up.

  18. Courtney says

    September 8, 2012 at 11:52 am

    Oh, my gosh! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this idea! Brilliant! I totally get what you are saying. I might try this one myself!!! Visiting from SITS 🙂

    • OneMommy says

      September 13, 2012 at 7:30 pm

      It was really fun to write — all those things you’d like to say at times!
      Thanks for stopping by! Off to see your blog! 🙂

  19. Amber says

    September 8, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Hilarious! I so HATE those electronic phone calls. So annoying.

    • OneMommy says

      September 13, 2012 at 9:07 pm

      Seriously, they are! I much prefer the 1-800 numbers with real people because I get a better response when I answer something silly, like, “Joe’s Pizza!”

  20. Amy of while wearing heels says

    September 9, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    Hilarious! I love your funny observations about life in general. The phone call with your boss, the kids smearing lip gloss on their toys. Things every mom can relate to. Thanks for making me laugh!

    • OneMommy says

      September 13, 2012 at 7:32 pm

      Thanks! Sometimes it’s nice to be able to write a post that is going to make other moms laugh. 🙂

  21. This Busy Life says

    September 20, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Thank you Facebook for only showing my posts to 20% of my followers and offering to charge me to show it to the other 80%.

    How was that?

    • OneMommy says

      September 21, 2012 at 2:38 pm

      Love it!

  22. Ginny Marie says

    September 21, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Love the one to McD’s! And my kids have done the exact same thing with lip gloss…on their stuffed animals!

  23. OneMommy says

    August 12, 2013 at 9:45 am

    I think that was my favorite post to write! 🙂

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