I just wanted to be alone.  I left my phone on the table, making sure I would not be disturbed by modern conveniences.  Grabbing the umbrella by the door, I put on my boots and called for the dog.  As we walked through the pouring rain in our back field, I started to pray.

My dad had faced a series of health issues over the past year.  Most recently he had gone in for a bone biopsy.  It was taking longer for the results than we were originally told, and everyone’s anxiety was increasing.  There is only so many times you can hear a loved one talk about “when I’m gone,” before you break, and I had reached my limit.

I prayed that it wouldn’t be bone cancer.  I prayed it would be something manageable.  I prayed for a few more years with my Daddy.  I prayed for a sign.

The rain was still coming down in buckets when I reached the tree-line that borders our back field.  As the tears streamed down my face something made me look up.  That’s when I saw it.

The most beautiful rainbow I had ever seen.  

It was a complete rainbow, seeming to stretch from behind our neighbor’s house all the way across the sky to a field down the way.  The colors were bright and vivid against the gloomy sky.  Not only that, but there was a second, slightly lighter rainbow above it.  A double rainbow.

I fell to my knees, in awe of how beautiful it was.  I could not take my eyes from it.

Unlike so many rainbows that vanish as soon as you see them, this one lasted a long, long time.  And I knew in my heart that I was meant to see it.  It was my sign.  And like that, my fears were gone.  I still didn’t know the results of that biopsy, but I knew there was hope.  And I knew I wasn’t alone.

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The post Finding Hope in the Storm first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

It was a mere 4 minutes after my oldest head-butted her little brother.  And I mean she head-butted him HARD.  Yet, when she came over to apologize after her time-out, he couldn’t wait to hand her the Potato Head he had put together just for her.  No hard-feelings.  As if it had never happened.

Children live in the now.  They forgive and move on.

Why does that become so hard once we become adults?

We let things get under our skin and they eat away at us.  Holding grudges, hanging on to how we have been wronged in the past, it takes so much energy out of us.  It keeps us from enjoying new blessings.

Honestly, I have been thinking of the importance of forgiveness for a while now.

Sure, I can forgive the little things easily enough, someone forgetting to call, a favorite trinket being broken.  It’s those big, I’ll say life-changing, events that I have been struggling with.  But lately I have realized just what I’ve been missing out on by holding on to the past.  I’m not who I want to be, and it’s time to forgive and move on.

And honestly, I’m a little afraid.  I’m talking years that I’ve held on to the hurt.  Where do I even start?

And perhaps the hardest part?  Forgiving myself as well.

The post Forgiveness first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

Time to be thankful…

With all our preparation for Easter, reading Easter books and doing crafts, I’d like to take this Thankful Thursday to be thankful for what Easter is really about.

A wonderous miracle that happened that first Easter.

A chance to be forgiven.

Unconditional love.

And that is something to be thankful for, indeed.

The post Easter Thanks first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

A few days ago I came across a blog making fun of those people who say quick little prayers throughout the day, you know, say you lost your keys and you’re looking for them so you ask for a little help from above and then suddenly you find them?   The blog’s author finds these prayers to be selfish and made fun of those who believe God will help them by saying (and I paraphrase here because of the language that was used), “Sure, God will answer your prayers for your lost keys, but he won’t solve world hunger, slavery, disease, etc…” (Again, I paraphrased here.)  I wrote a quick comment about the power of belief – that perhaps truly having faith in the idea that there is a god who is listening (and may choose to help you) is what makes the difference to those people.  I didn’t expect the comment to then be twisted and turned into the post it did, or the subsequent post about what kind of person I must be (That I am probably one of those religious nuts who thinks anyone in a different religion can’t be saved or isn’t a true believer, and a few other unsavory remarks…).

So I am taking this opportunity to stand for what I believe in, having more time to clarify my original comment.

In going back to the blog’s original argument about “little prayers” being selfish and how foolish it is to believe God might hear them, I have to say that I believe in a loving God, not one to be feared; he is Our Father, after all.  God wants us, his children, to pray to Him for the little things (finding car keys, helping our dog get well) as well as the big things (finding a cure to cancer).  To quote James 5:13, “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.”  The key here is the prayer must be offered in faith.  (Which, perhaps, is part of the problem, as the blog that I commented on is written by an atheist, yet I still did not expect, nor do I feel I deserved the posts she wrote based on my comment and the type of person she believes me to be.)

Just because someone asks God for help for something small doesn’t make that person a selfish individual.  Just because you thank God for helping you find your keys, or for getting you home safely on a stormy night, doesn’t make you foolish.  They are prayers done in faith, based on what the individual believes.  And, just because an individual makes those prayers doesn’t mean that those are the only things they care about, that they don’t also pray for world peace or for a sick child they know.  It is impossible to know what another person prays for throughout the day. Assuming that you know what they pray for would be as ignorant as assuming someone who believes there is something to the power of faith is a selfish, myopic, ignorant, and possibly a racist individual (which are just a few things it was implied that I was in one of the posts).

In response to the idea that it is stupid and selfish to think there is a God who might answer those little prayers and not answer prayers for world hunger, an end to violence, etc., I have to say I still choose to believe in God.  Just because your prayer isn’t answered in the way you want it to be answered does not mean there is no God.  The Bible tells us that God answers prayers in one of three ways:

“Yes”  (As in the prayer is answered in the way you desire.)
Ezra 8:23 “So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer.”

“No”  (You don’t get what you asked for.)
4.2 Samuel 22:42 “They cried for help, but there was no one to save them— to the LORD, but he did not answer.”

“Wait” (Where we must be patient for what we pray for.)
Psalm 89:46 “How long, LORD? Will you hide yourself forever? How long will your wrath burn like fire?”

I could continue with stories about the power of faith.  But really, I’m not here to try to change anyone’s mind about whether there is a God or not.  I just wanted the opportunity to clarify my comment and respond to the posts that centered around it afterwards.

(A special thanks to my brother-in-law, who helped me find the quotes I wanted a lot faster than I could with 2 little ones running around the house!)

The post In Response to Those That Are “Greater” first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.