You found me in his dorm room.  It was obvious something was wrong.  You walked me back to my dorm room, and after you found out what happened, you left.

You left me when I needed you the most.

You, the person who claimed to love me.

Not only that, but a few days later you convinced me that if we didn’t “do it” soon, I would never want to do it again.  It was like being assaulted all over again.

There was no tenderness.  There was no comforting words.

I realize now how selfish that was on your part.

A day later I saw you with him, eating dinner.

Nauseous does not come close to how I felt at that point, at the site of the two of you laughing together.

When I thought I was as hurt as I could be, you drove the knife deeper.

I could linger on the hurt, the pain.  In fact, I have.

But it has been years, and it is time to let go of the pain, the anger.  I need to find peace with the past so I can move on and enjoy all the good that has come into my life since then.

And to do that, I need to forgive.

Forgive not only you, and somehow your “friend” – who I mistakenly trusted, but myself as well.

I have struggled with how to do that, and I have asked the Lord for help.  I feel he has brought me to writing about it here, maybe to help someone else find forgiveness…

Somehow, between the day that I first started writing this, struggling with such a task before me, and today, I somehow feel like a small weight has been lifted.  I hold no hatred for you.

Forgiveness can set us free.

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The post My Journey to Forgiveness first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

If you read my Thankful Thursday post last week, or my previous post on Forgiveness, then it shouldn’t come to a shock to you that I’ve been trying to make peace with a few things lately.

It’s been a roller coaster ride.

This week I am thankful for time.  They say time heals all wounds.  I don’t know if that’s true, but I know that the years that have gone by have given me the distance I needed to not feel so raw as I work through things now.

I am thankful for a very supportive husband, who has understood my need for time.

I am thankful for second, and third… chances.

I am thankful for good reading material that helps you see inside yourself.

I am thankful for the power of prayer (yes, I’ve said it before and I say it again).  I pray He continues to guide me, stand by me, and help me on my journey.

Now for my favorite part of Thankful Thursday – I turn it over to you.

What are you thankful for this week?

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Also linking up with Grace Alone,  Black Tag Diaries and Then I Got to Thinking

The post Thankful for the Journey of Finding Peace first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

It was a mere 4 minutes after my oldest head-butted her little brother.  And I mean she head-butted him HARD.  Yet, when she came over to apologize after her time-out, he couldn’t wait to hand her the Potato Head he had put together just for her.  No hard-feelings.  As if it had never happened.

Children live in the now.  They forgive and move on.

Why does that become so hard once we become adults?

We let things get under our skin and they eat away at us.  Holding grudges, hanging on to how we have been wronged in the past, it takes so much energy out of us.  It keeps us from enjoying new blessings.

Honestly, I have been thinking of the importance of forgiveness for a while now.

Sure, I can forgive the little things easily enough, someone forgetting to call, a favorite trinket being broken.  It’s those big, I’ll say life-changing, events that I have been struggling with.  But lately I have realized just what I’ve been missing out on by holding on to the past.  I’m not who I want to be, and it’s time to forgive and move on.

And honestly, I’m a little afraid.  I’m talking years that I’ve held on to the hurt.  Where do I even start?

And perhaps the hardest part?  Forgiving myself as well.

The post Forgiveness first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.