Dear Son,

This week, while you have been excited about your future birthday presents, you have also repeatedly let me know that you don’t want to be six.

Maybe you are worried that you won’t be my baby anymore.  Or maybe you have realized how fast time really is, and you just want to stay little a little longer.

I’m not sure what has been going on in your head this week, but I do know what’s been going on in mine.

I am in awe of you.

This past year you have grown so much.

Yes, you have almost reached the same height of your older sister.  And you outweigh her by several pounds now.

But it’s more than that.

When I look at this picture of you from the first day of church school, I am amazed by how you have grown.  That day you walked to your classroom like you were walking to a death sentence.  Over the weeks you slowly grew more confident.  You stopped needing your headphones.  You couldn’t wait to whisper to me about what you had done when you met me at the door.  And when your teacher pulled me aside and told me you had participated in a game of “Duck, Duck, Goose,”  I couldn’t help the tears.  Through all the years of library story times and other outings, you had never played with the other kids.

But this year, you did.

I’m told you also sang during one of the last classes, and even did the hand motions to the song.  Oh, how I wish I had seen that!

Today you didn’t hesitate to play at the park, even though there were 6 other kids already there playing.  A year ago that wouldn’t have happened.

if you make a letter wrong on your paper now, you try to correct it.  A year ago a simple mistake like that would have sent you running from the room to hide under your bed.

When there’s a bump in your sock, or your shoe doesn’t feel right, now you just take it off and try to fix it yourself.  A year ago you would have thrown your shoe across the room, and you couldn’t get your toes in the sock by yourself.

This year you have begun to read!  Seeing the pride on your face as you sound out the words, that is priceless to me.

You climb, you jump, you try new things…  This year I’ve seen your confidence increase as you’ve discovered just what you really can do.

I look forward to seeing what new things you learn this year.

You see, being six is a wonderful age, sweet boy.

It’s an age full of imagination, with dragons to fight and rockets to fly.

It’s an age of reading about your favorite animals and driving Hot Wheels on the back of the couch and building blanket forts in the living room.

It’s an age of discovery:  finding new things you can do, exploring new places

Six is a wonderful age.

And so is seven, and eight and nine…

And no matter how old you are, you will always be my baby.

And I will always love you.

Love,

Mommy

The post An Open Letter to My Son on His Birthday first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

When we started homeschooling this year I wanted to have some type of reward system in place.  At first I made a sticker chart where they could earn small rewards each week.

Then I came up with something a little more concrete:  our Reward Store.

I’ve found that having something more concrete that they can work towards is a HUGE motivator.

All of the items in our store were little things I had picked up at the dollar store and stashed away for a “rainy day.”  In the future, when our store needs restocked I might let them pick up items they’d like to earn.

I didn’t want to use real money for our store for several reasons.  So I came up with our own “store dimes.”

Our dimes are simple circles cut from aluminum foil.  The kids each have a “bank” to save their dimes in.

Each of the items in our store is labelled with a price written on masking tape.

I made sure to have small items (lollipops and other small candies) that are worth ten cents each (one “dime”).  This ensures that they can always purchase something at the end of class if they have given their best effort and earned that dime.

Other items range in price from 30 cent ring lollipops, to 50 and 80 cents and even a dollar (or 10 of our dimes) for the larger items.  I plan on increasing prices over time, making each reward take a bit longer to earn.

I also included a few shared rewards in our basket, like going for ice cream.  This way the kids need to work together towards a few of the rewards.

The reward store has been a big hit with both of my students!

Not only are they earning small prizes for good behavior and trying their best each day at school, but they are also learning so much from our store!

*  They are counting by tens.  (That’s why all our coins right now are dimes!)  The youngest has learned that if he wants the 50 cent Silly Putty, he needs to earn 5 dimes to buy it.  We go over counting our coins by tens at the end of each lesson to see how much is in the bank.

*  They are both learning to save their money for what they want to buy.  The candy may be tempting, but they know that if they want to earn that Lego set they need to have ten dimes.

*  They are learning to make good choices.  “If I buy the candy I will enjoy it for a little bit, but then it will be an extra day before I can buy that Silly Putty that will be fun to play with for a long time.”

*  They are learning patience.  That first day my youngest didn’t understand that he wasn’t getting a prize out of the basket every day.  Now his attitude is a lot different!

*  They are learning to work together.  Remember those shared rewards?

As an added benefit they aren’t always begging for a “little something” when we go to a store.

So far our reward store has only been associated with school, but I am thinking we may eventually tie it in with good behavior throughout the day.  Maybe earning one dime for school and having a chance to earn a second dime for completing chores and having good behavior the rest of the day.  (If we do that, those prices will definitely be increasing a bit!)

Do you have a reward system in place?

I’d love to hear about it!

The post Encouraging Good Behavior: Reward Store first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

Upset and angry and unable to handle the emotions flooding through him, my son had just hit his sister before racing to cry in his room.

“What’s wrong with you?!” was my husband’s automatic response as our son ran down the hallway.

I cringed at his wording.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Those four words seem simple enough.  But think about the connotation of those words when used repeatedly with a child.

Is there really something wrong with him or her?

No one can control the emotions they feel.

As adults we have had years to learn how to handle those emotions, but young children don’t have that experience.  If their sister teases them, or someone else wins that cherished game of Candyland, they may not be able to handle the emotions.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Use those four words often enough and the child begins to think there really is something wrong with him/her.  Instead of learning to deal with their emotions, they become embarrassed by them and try to hide them.  And hiding those emotions is NOT a healthy way to deal with them.

I would like to ban the phrase:  What’s wrong with you?    There are so many better alternatives when it comes to dealing with the reactions of a child, or even adults for that matter.

I thought about ending there, but there is more to the story than just that.

At 5 my son has become much more aware of himself and the world around him.

Recently at bedtime he asked me why his fingers are the way they are.  (His pinkies are both significantly bent inward.)

We have spent months trying to get his Sensory Processing issues identified, starting off with a referral to a psychologist, then an occupational therapist, and even having a pragmatic speech eval done this past week.  This last visit he asked, “Why am I always the one that has to go see people?”

The last thing I want him to feel is like there is something WRONG with him.

He is not broken.

He is beautifully made, the way God intended.  And perfect in my eyes.  (I may be a bit biased as him mother, but I think he is a very smart and talented little guy!)

And so that is why this phrase bothers me just a little more when it is used with him.  No child should be made to feel there is something wrong with them when they act like a child.

And that phrase, “What’s wrong with you?”  As adults we need to think before we speak because our words have more impact than we may realize.

Other posts you’ll like:

• Trusting My Instincts Got My Son Diagnosed
• Easing Social Anxiety in Kids
• To the Mom Whose Child Has Lice 

The post The Parenting Phrase I Want to Ban first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

It’s National Breastfeeding Week!

My babies are 5 and 6 now, and it seems like a lifetime ago when breastfeeding was a daily occurrence around here.  But this week has me thinking back to that time…

I remember sitting on a cold tile floor in a bathroom stall of some store’s bathroom, nursing my little girl.

That’s when it occurred to me how wrong it all was.

What was I doing here?

Why was I sitting on this dirty floor, hiding in a bathroom stall like I was doing something wrong?

What could be more natural than a mother feeding her baby?

That was the first and last time I put my baby and myself through that.

The next time I took my little Peanut out, I was more confident.   I knew that what I was doing was nothing to hide.  After all, when breastfeeding correctly nothing is seen except the back of the baby’s head!

I was armed with all the reasons we shouldn’t have to hide.  In fact, I already knew what I’d say if someone asked me to breastfeed elsewhere.

It turns out no one every did.

Unfortunately, that isn’t the case for all breastfeeding moms out there.  Some are met with harsh glares, others have rude comments tossed their way.

So for those just starting out, maybe a bit self-conscious and unsure like I was, here are just a few of the responses I had ready because no one should feel like they have to feed their baby in a public bathroom or out in their hot car.

• Breastfeeding a baby shows a lot less than those girls/women who go out in wearing itty-bitty thongs and low-rise jeans who then proceed to squat down, bend forward to look at something, and give everyone around them a view we all don’t need.
• I know for a fact that by nursing my baby I am showing way less than a lot of other women who go out in slinky, low-cut tops.

• My baby deserves to eat just as much as anyone else, probably more so.  No one else takes their food and eats in the bathroom or leaves the table to go eat in the car.  Why should my baby have to?
• Do you dictate what your other customers should eat or HOW they should eat?  Why is my baby any different?  (If asked at a restaurant)

Like I said, I was fortunate enough not to have to justify my baby’s right to eat in public.  But I know not everyone is as lucky.

Have you encountered rude comments/looks when breastfeeding in public?   How did you respond?

The post Breastfeeding in Public first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

Do you ever find yourself trying to be SuperMom?

In the midst of trying to keep the house tidy, the family fed, helping  with homework, doing that craft  you saw on Pinterest, rushing the kids whatever extracurricular activity they have that day, and still working out so you look good for the husband, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s really important.

And then there’s all the “experts” out there in social media land adding even more pressure as they try to tell us what we should and should not be doing.  As if we don’t suffer from the mom guilt enough!

If any of this sounds remotely familiar, than I have the book for you!

Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas was written by fellow blogger Angela Williams Glenn of the blog Time with A & N.

The book examines the perceptions and expectations of motherhood with regard to today’s digital world.  The world of social media is shaping and influencing us in ways that moms of the past never dreamed!

We not only feel like as moms we need to be superwoman, but society and social media also makes us feel like we need to push that perfectionism on our children, that they should be reading by kindergarten, in several sports, or whatever other foolishness that seems to spread through the Internet.

Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas touches on all this and more.  What I really love about this book is that you don’t have to read the book cover to cover.  (Because, honestly, it’s tough to get to read when you’re a mom!) You can easily pick it up and choose any one of the 12 chapters to read in any order.

My favorite chapter?

I found myself laughing and nodding as I read chapter 7 “What I Didn’t Know about Motherhood.”   I have to agree that as moms we all need those extra locks so we can use the bathroom alone!

Angela Williams Glenn was recently published in Chicken Soup for the Soul:  The Multitasking Mom’s Survival Guide. Her blog is one that always makes me smile.

And she has a big heart.

20% of the book sales this summer are being donated to the I ROK Foundation for childhood cancer.

Just click the affiliate link to make it easy to get your own copy of Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas from Amazon. Or get Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas for Kindle for just $3.99 and you’ll still be supporting the I ROK Foundation!

*I received a copy of Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas to read in order to give my honest review.  I was not compensated in any way.  All opinions are completely my own.  

The post Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.

Mom, you — the one reading this — you’re doing a good job.

I know there are times you feel you can’t do it.  I know there are times you look around the house and you see the dishes spilling over the sink, the cluttered counter top, and the baskets of laundry that still need to be folded.  You see the carpet in desperate need of vacuuming, covered in Legos and Hot Wheels and Barbie doll clothes.   The clock tells you that once again you have forgotten to plan dinner and it will be a spaghetti night, or maybe canned soup and grilled cheese.

You stress.

You worry you aren’t doing a good job.

You are your hardest critic.

I want you to look further.

Look beyond the cluttered kitchen table and the kids that didn’t make it out of pajamas today.

Realize there are plenty of days left to scrub the shower or dust the picture frames.  This time with your children is more precious.

Look beyond all those things you feel you should be doing.  Really look.

See the smiling faces.  Hear the laughter as they run into the room.  Cherish that early morning snuggle, that hug when you pick them up in the evening.

Join them.  Hug them.  Let them know they are the world to you.

And know you really are doing a good job with what’s truly important.

Happy Mother’s Day!

You might also like:

• 20 Mother’s Day Crafts
• 20 Beautiful Flower Crafts
• Trusting My Instincts Got My Son Diagnosed 

The post You ARE a Good Mom — A Mother’s Day Message first appeared on There's Just One Mommy.